A horrid whisper
by neko-loverx3
Summary: Eren remembers, he remembers everything. From the feel of flying with 3D maneuver gear to the sharp pain of his teeth cutting into his hand to transform into a Titan. He remembers and he yearns for those days back.
1. Prologue

Eren wants to scream. To cry. To yell. But he does nothing. After almost 19 years of living in this world, or a sick joke as he refers it to, he has learned how to act normal, to pretend nothing is wrong. To not show that his mind burns with the desire to fly with 3d maneuver gear once more, to stop the urge to bite his hand till it bleeds in class, and most of all - to stop talking to those that were close to him in his "past." Now he's a freshman in collage with a roommate he would have killed for, Armin. Even though his roommate doesn't even remember him Eren "remembers" everything about him. Armin leaves every other week on the weekend to drive to the beach with his friends, Eren guesses something's might not change with time. In school he has classes with everyone he remembers from 104th trainee squad and most of his teachers are former commanders. Every day is like walking though hallway after hallway and class after class of never ending emotional pain. He sees all his former friends walk past him without a second glance, he passes people who cause him to remember gory and horrific deaths, and worse off all he passes Mikasa -who still wears a red scarf - but she doesn't remember him or even recognize him. He can't seem to escape his past but at the same time he can't live in the present. 


	2. Chapter 1

Eren sighs and turns over in his bed that's currently covered in a plethora of pillows. His mother once made a joke along the lines that a large amount of pillows shows loneliness. Eren agrees that he just might fit the criteria. For being lonely, that is. As he pulls a pillow up to cover his head, a sharp coppery smell fills his nose. He groggily opens his eyes to see the cause of the smell, a fresh new wound on his hand.

Eren groans at the sight that meets his eyes: blood smeared all over his already blood-stained pillows, hand torn open and surrounded with bits of browned, drying blood and his sheets, that were just cleaned yesterday, already back to being covered in a mix of sweat and blood.

He swears under his breath as he roughly pushes the blankets away and rolls out of bed than hobbles to the bathroom, rubbing his eyes with his uninjured hand. He turns the water on to lukewarm and sticks his hand under the tap and watches the blood run off his hand and flow down the drain.

As the blood washes away Eren gets his first full glance at the cut and groans at the oval shape that's red and irritated, it's also quite a bit deeper than his usual and more frequent bites. A bite this deep hasn't happened to him in over three years, and it looks to be only an hour old at most. He must have done it right before waking up since there is still a light trickle of blood coming from the cut. Eren sighs in impatience he pours hydrogen peroxide onto his wound and watches bubbles form on his hand.

He rinses the sheen of foam off his hand and hastily grabs a band-aid from his medicine cabinet located above his old and almost rusting sink. He shuts the water off and glares at his reflection in the glass before slapping the band-aid onto his hand with a hiss at the pain.

His face is a mess. He has blood smeared on his cheek, his hair is disheveled, and he still needs to brush his teeth. He pulls out his phone and swears at the time. "Fuck! Twenty minutes before I have to leave" he mutters quietly. He runs his hand over his hair in a quick attempt to eradicate any lose strands from his face and dispel his bed head.

He shrugs figuring his hair looks fine enough as he globs toothpaste onto his red colored toothbrush. He promptly shoves the toothbrush into his mouth, brushing for around thirty seconds, deeming it a waste of time, spitting the toothpaste out than rinses out his mouth.

He cups his hand under the running water, gathering a small pool of water in his hands and splashes it onto his face. He scrubs off the dried blood with his one good hand and gently washes the rest of his face with soap. He pats his face down with a fluffy black towel. The dark colors help conceal the bloodstains it will eventually be riddled with, a tip he found on the Internet.

He shuts the water off, hangs the towel up, and pads back into his room to search for some clothes to wear. He always has had problems picking out an outfit even when he was a little kid so he prefers to give himself a lot of time, a wish he isn't granted today.

He pushes his dirty clothes that are strewn around on his floor out of the way as he heads back into his room. He throws his wooden wardrobe door open causing it bangs against the wall making Eren grunt about how "crappy the room is" and how "everything is so old", his voice slightly louder than it should be in a dorm room in such an early hour.

He shifts through his clothes attempting to find /something/ at least a little descent. After around five minutes of Eren growing increasingly more aggravated at the lack of clothing he has he picks out his outfit: a pair of dark wash jeans and a light grey shirt with white socks paired with his brown vans.

He pulls off his nightclothes and hastily shoves on today's clothes. He gathers all his dirty clothing on the floor and tosses them into his hamper, located in the corner of his room, before swinging on his backpack and trudging out the door to head to first period.


	3. chapter 2

Eren sighed, his head hitting the cheep wooden desk with a light _thump_. The walk to his euro class was confusing and long, he barely made it in time.

He lifted his head as he heard the doors slide open and the click of his professors boots on the floor. He looked around the classroom and rests on a lanky, shaved head boy. He slightly reminded him of Connie. He's even wearing a light brown sweater, the exact shade of their jackets. He shook his head to clear those pesky thoughts away he turned to the front of the room.

He took in the sight of a tall stern looking man. His back was pin straight and a militaristic vibe radiated off him in waves. His hair was even swept back showing his large eyebrows. That's when it struck Eren whom exactly he looked like.

_Erwin?!_ He gaped ahead and quickly shuts his mouth with a click. _He shouldn't be here! What's going on?!_

He opened his mouth to speak when he remembered the first time the thought he found Hanji. His hair messily pulled back with a crazy grin on as he poked around Erens mouth with a sharp tool and loudly hummed a familiar melody. Eren remembers his Hanji humming the same melody as he hacked away titans arms in joy. He opened his mouth and asked, "Titans, you remember right?" Eren remembered clear as yesterday the way he stopped humming slowly replied, "No. What are titans?" Eren remembered feeling so angry and alone but at the same time not even surprised.

He slowly closed his mouth and decided to slowly drop hints to see if Erwin remembers too, lessening the chance of Erwin calling him crazy.

Erwin's cold eyes swept the classroom with purpose. Eren saw every student in his eyesight straighten their back and raise their heads, /probably without even realizing/ he snickered under his breath.

As Erwin's eyes swept the room they landed on Eren. Without thinking about it he had stood up and put his bandaged hand to his chest in a salute. He stared ahead until he heard the snickering of those around him.

_Shittttt._ He mentally drawled out angrily. _There goes your little 'drop hints' plan you loser. You just had to /fucking/ solute in front of the whole /damn/ classroom didn't you._

As he was sitting down he saw Connie out of the corner of his eye and he was… saluting..?

Eren promptly swung his head to face Erwin and was shocked by the small smile that had played on his lips.

"Eren, Connie?"

"Yes sir?" They chanted back in unison. Eren couldn't hear a word even whispered in the classroom. It was dead silent as the students looked onto their conversation in confusion.

"Come down here. You will report to the lunch room till 13 o'clock sharp. Return after that."

"Yes sir." They softly chanted as they retreated out of the classroom closing the heavy wooden doors.

**Hey guys! Nena here! Sorry it just seems like I like making you guys wait 3 months for like a 500 word update =n= sorry. I've started writing in school and I already have the next chapter written should be ready to post next week! So I hope thats a little apology ;w; Um yeah any tips when writing? I've really never wrote anything before so a little review would be super helpful! Thank you for reading my story and sorry for the huge long wait for this chapter! **


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